This entry was written on 10 September 2023, 10 days into Q4 2023.
We have three months left in the year.
At the end of every quarter and the beginning of the quarter, I will be filled with feelings like I have not done enough and a sense of pride in what I have achieved so far.
A lot has happened and has not happened in the past nine months.
Things that have happened:
1. I had my eyesight corrected surgically.
I had chosen to go to Sunway Eye Center for the procedure because I wanted to be in a hospital.
Because of my age, I had to do the FemtoLASIK procedure.
I would say this was one of the most terrifying experiences in my life so far.
I was awake the entire procedure. I could smell the laser’s burn. Hear every conversation between the doctor and the staff. Feel the saline wash the surface of my eyes and the the doctor wiping them.
I felt the first laser cutting the flap, the doctor pulling it open so the second laser could do its job. After that, I saw and felt the doctor adjusting the flap and pushing it back into position.
Post-surgery, the sting was horrible, and it lasted a week. The sting was especially bad when it was bright. So I sat in the dark, had my meals at night and wore sunglasses whenever I had to leave my room. Reading was painful for approximately ten days. Honestly, I could make out words by day 2- post-surgery, but it was painful. Especially reading from a screen.
It has been approximately four months since the surgery, and I am glad I no longer need corrective glasses. Life has been much more convenient without the worry of contact lenses and spectacles ( I was developing an allergy to contact lenses due to long hours of wear, and I absolutely hated wearing spectacles).
2. I started my Masters.
It took me ten years to decide what masters to pursue. And alas, I have chosen to pursue a Masters in Arts, majoring in Communications.
I have completed two semesters, with the third starting next week.
It was a struggle as I left school for over ten years. Academic writing and writing for work is totally different. Studying the theory of some things you already know, especially when you know the theory is not practical, can be annoying. Trying to understand a lecturer who is not clear with what he wants and what he is trying to say is frustrating (since he is a professor, you would expect him to have a clear structure and key points). One of the semesters was a short one, which was a mad rush because all the lessons and assignments had to be completed in half the time.
But thank goodness, I passed both semesters (results were not bad actually. To date, my CGPA stands at 3.57. I have to work double hard the following semesters to maintain this).
Things that have NOT happened:
1. I did NOT lose weight.
Instead, I GAINED weight. Which is the total opposite of what I was working towards.
I can't even bring myself to elaborate anymore. It's just depressing.
2. I have NOT found a second income.
In this time and age, having one income is not sustainable. Not only is everything unbelievably expensive, but being an adult means commitment:
Mortgage
School fees
Household expenses (living on your own, in your property means paying for your own electricity, water, internet, condo maintenance fee, groceries, etc etc etc)
Parking fees
Food (eating is an expensive affair. Did you know that wan tan mee is now RM8 and above???)
Fuel
And the list goes on.
Adulting is expensive.
3. I did NOT get a kitten or a puppy.
I really wanted one. I really did. I wanted one so badly that I even bought pet toys and some essentials. I was in touch with rescuers and activists to adopt a suitable pair of offspring of a rescue.
But alas, there weren’t any suitable offspring. Just as well, my pet fish died (for the 12th time, I think), and my mom had to get me new ones. Doesn’t seem like I’m cut out to be a pet owner.
So there. This is all I can think of for today.
Will write a part 2 if I can think of anything else.
Now you know what I mean when I say I feel like I have not done enough and have a strange pride in what I have achieved?
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